December 3, 2022

What Hold Me Right’s Danijela Steinfeld learned through documenting sexual assault

6 min read


Stanfield was not prepared to share his experience in the film. The project began as a way to empower survivors to reunite so that they would not suffer in silence alone, as he did.

When she left Serbia, she says she was at the height of her acting career, and her familiar face disappeared from magazines, movies, and public life in Serbia with no explanation – even her family. Or not even friends. They Share publiclyThe reason is that she left only two years ago.

Arriving in the United States, Stanfield says she was shocked and unable to talk about her experience, instead of trying to start a new life. But it was not as easy as leaving the scene.

She explains how friends and therapists gradually helped her to sew together and made her realize that it was helpful to talk about what had happened. And as she connected with other survivors through organizations. the rain (Rape, Abuse and Insistence National Network), he began to realize how similar his experiences of being a victim of shame and silence were, despite the diversity of attacks or crimes.
A scene from the movie "Hold me right"  Revealing some of the reactions that victims may face after a sexual assault.
While each survivor’s experience is unique. Washington Alliance of Sexual Assault Programs Lists many common short- and long-term reactions that victims often experience, including shame, guilt, denial, anxiety, and depression.

It was he who gave birth to the idea of โ€‹โ€‹the Stanfield project. But when he interviewed people in the film – including a wife who was raped by her husband, a nurse who had to use a rap kit on herself, a man who says she was 13 years old I was raped at a party – and faced it. Some of the culprits, whether they now feel remorse or even what they did was a crime, felt that in order to fully recover, they had to speak up. will have.

The result is a powerful 74-minute documentary that focuses on how sexual assault can affect a person’s life for years, but also for people – both men and women – How difficult it can be to hear voices, even in today’s positiont #MeToO far!

From his experience, Stanfield shared four lessons he learned about what to do after an attack – whether it happened to you, or someone you know.

It’s not your fault

“It doesn’t matter how it happened, it doesn’t matter your gender, sex, age, creed, your state of consciousness, it doesn’t matter if your actions or lack of deeds. Well, it’s not your fault, “she says.

“You are now obsessed with the question: what could have been done differently? The reality is not so great. You could not have known. Their intentions, the faster you learn to understand that it was not your fault, the better. ”

Find someone you trust.

“Find someone you trust – someone you know who won’t judge you or force you to do what you love,” says Stanfield. We will not – if possible, before you seek medical help and report the crime to the authorities. ”

She adds that experiments with the law and medical personnel can also be traumatic, so it is helpful to have reliable co-operation when reporting a crime.

“Make sure you trust someone who will be with you no matter what. It may mean telling your family what happened and their love and Get help. Now don’t worry about crushing their heart with the revelation of this crime in which you have succeeded. I can explain. If you do not have such a person then find us, the victim’s lawyer, we will be with you. I know this is a slogan. But it is very true – find us online. Do it! You are not alone. ”

Be patient with yourself

“You may feel destructive: you may hate yourself for a long time, you may want to harm yourself, you may want to abuse alcohol or substance to make yourself feel more miserable. Be patient with your trauma and your treatment, “she says.

“The journey from the affected to the victor can be very long. Victory comes when you are well again, when you can trust your judgment again, victory comes when someone has given you what has already happened. There is no choice. The fastest way is freedom, patience and kindness. ”

She says that by doing so you will finally be able to talk about what happened and says that she learned that “speaking was a healing for all the heroes who came forward after escaping sexual trauma.” . ”

Ask your loved ones to help.

Stanfield says that when survivors tell what happened to them, it can be difficult for loved ones to know how to respond. But their response can be “significant” in helping people feel empowered to seek help.

She believes Auxiliary feedback It also reduces the risk of post-traumatic stress disorder and says that it is important for loved ones to show genuine empathy and avoid making decisions or questions that emphasize that The actions of the survivors are responsible for what happened (ie what were you wearing? How much do you have to drink? Why did you make your way home?).

“We live in a culture that does not understand survivors of sexual violence. There is no right or wrong way to respond to trauma,” she says, concluding that endorsement and cooperation make one feel safe. Can go a long way in helping to do and ask. For support

If you have experienced sexual assault or trauma and are looking for help, you can find a list of resources. Here.

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Although she was the first woman to reach the summit of Mount Everest, she was preferred by Jin Tibi as the 36th person to do so.

At the age of 10, he discovered his passion for mountaineering during a class trip to Mount Naso and Mount Choso. At that time, only men climbed mountains in Japan. After graduating from Showa Women’s University, Tebi pursued her hobby of mountaineering and joined various men’s mountaineering clubs.

To encourage more women to pursue a passion for mountaineering, she co-founded Joshi Tohan (Ladies Climbing Club of Japan) in 1969, and the following year, Tabi and club member Hiroko Hirakawa visited Annapurna III in Nepal. Date campaign on Be the first woman to reach the top of one of the most difficult climbs in the world.

Tabi then fixed his eyes on Everest. In 1975, along with 14 other women under the Japanese Women’s Everest expedition, she started climbing. Due to the lack of oxygen bottles, Tibi was the only member of the mountaineering team to reach the last peak, making her the first woman to climb the world’s highest peak.

She set out to climb the highest mountain on every continent, known as the Seven Summits Challenge, and was the first woman to do so again.

Born in Fukushima as an Asian, Tibi was a teacher, author, and World War II survivor. In 1959, she married fellow climber Misanobo Tabi.

Her life was full of courage and determination, not only to make a name for herself in the male-dominated field but also to challenge the cultural stereotypes about women. She died of cancer in 2016.

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